兩個年度“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯 :}#)ip r
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TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES
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背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業，但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。 WO!OaC?+B,
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假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。 o 4yl3o
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been oy[ px9Wx
as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a }z9v *C
defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to *+6iXMwe
undermine the police officer's credibility ..... T?Z&\g0yp
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問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？ !L9]nO 'BL
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' G[u6X_Q
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答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。 Gi@c`lRd1
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the J2oh#TGp
description of the offender, running several blocks away.' mv,a>Cvs[
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問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？ ld|GY>rH
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' ?5};ONjN
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答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。 :p)^+AF"5
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' q&6|uV])H
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問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？ >P} XCAU
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called Ie _{P& J
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' Q3bU"f
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答：我相信，我以人格保證。
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A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' f2Xn !]o
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問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？ o F_{oV '
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a Y1ca=ewFx
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily f Y78
duties?' 5efN5Kt
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答：我們有的！ Vom,^`}
A: 'Yes sir, we do!' l(F\5Ys
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問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？ "s zJ[
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Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' `]4(Z"R
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答：我們有的！ =;I+: K
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.' 2w+4B4
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問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？ /yx)_x{
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' Ml?KnSb
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答：是的，上鎖！ {+{
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A: 'Yes, sir.' xA2I+r*o
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問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？ cud9oJ-=;
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' A yn $,
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答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。 K C(z TY
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' :1bDkoK
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這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。 XUUP#<,s
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win. i<tJG{A=
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“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之二 +`V<&
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Number 2: X$P(8'[9A
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . . v&]y zl
Now We Know Why He Was a General ----- 1Q9Hs(s
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在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有會可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。 fWri7|"0h
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. "VoufXM:
他以典型的施瓦茨科普方式回答。 ;g2UIb?{6
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. rb'mFqg*u
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事… {%y|A{}c
而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面” $[7/~I>m
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... *O[/-
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Our job is to arrange the meeting." MI:%Eq
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你一定會欣賞他們二位的答辯！ ^ f"|<r
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You got to love them both!
