兩個年度“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯 +!cibTQTT
9 GtVcucN
x(7Q5Uk\
TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES vw6DHN)k
YB]{gm2
$ww0$
背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業，但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。
;[B-!F>
&P&VJLA e
假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。 "0aJE1) p:
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been -T2 w?|
as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a ![&9\aH
defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to V*gh"gZ<
undermine the police officer's credibility ..... _)ZxD--Qg
;T :]?5W!
問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？
<.=-9O6
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' Zg$RiQ^-{J
gX]ewbPDQ
答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。 MW|R
)gt
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the +vIsYg*#2M
description of the offender, running several blocks away.' O,Ej m<nt
s"~3.J
問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？ O+"a 0:GM
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' 3(`P x}
rGlnu.mK^
答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。 n;LjKE
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' X16vvs
jw5
l#TE$d^ym
問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？ "t%Jj89a\
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called !3)WW)"!r
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' H;MyT Vl
W>(w&k]%B
答：我相信，我以人格保證。 t" ?)x&dS
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' R(f6uO!m
@pl h 'f}
問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？ IXpn(vX
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a m4?a'z"
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily 5'/f f=
duties?' INY?@in
rgF4 W8
答：我們有的！ )]C(NTfxg
A: 'Yes sir, we do!' YySo%\d
z) x.6
問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？ XD Q<28^
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' uM, R +)3
.Bojb~zt
答：我們有的！ Lk.tEuj=82
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.' Y|S>{$W
:,V&P _
問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？ ZF@$3
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' +
/>f?+
x (A8FtG
答：是的，上鎖！ r@EHn[w
A: 'Yes, sir.' zEt!Pug
aKin tb}n
問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？ L *cP8v4
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' 8^6 7,I-c
#, h0K
答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。 hQeG#KQ
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' Vni U:A
JCci*F#r
這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。 NAOCQDk{
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win. }#S1!TU
" s}Oeu[
CA5T3J@vAQ
“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之二 [\rzXE
Number 2: Q/0o e())
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . . (4|
R}jv
Now We Know Why He Was a General ----- mbns%%GJU
@VQ<X4 Za
ueEf>0
在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有會可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。 &ET$ca`j#
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. dDa&:L
他以典型的施瓦茨科普方式回答。 0U8'dYf
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. "R"{xOQl
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事… @w;$M]o1
而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面” R_b4S%jhx
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... Bj G fUQ
Our job is to arrange the meeting." 5fRr d;
_bt9{@)
A0OA7m:~4
你一定會欣賞他們二位的答辯！ b,X+*hRt
I%NeC
d
F\^\,hy
You got to love them both!
