兩個年度“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯 P}y}IR{6
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TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES / NaI Mo 5
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背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業，但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。 SY_T\
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假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。 qC40/1-m8K
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been cOth q87:
as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a a= ;7
defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to B5aFt ;Vj
undermine the police officer's credibility ..... bN@V=C 3
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問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？ MOY .$M,1
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' wX"
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答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。 9 W> <m[O
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the UHF.R>Ry
description of the offender, running several blocks away.' r}MXX
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問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？ ?h"+q8&
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' (Kd;l &8
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答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。 &!vJ3:
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' 2c @R!*
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問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？ hgX@?WWR
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called )V%xbDd S
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' (X@JlAfB
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答：我相信，我以人格保證。 pj G6v(zK
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' 0F6^[osqtl
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問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？ \zw0*;&U
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a R$4&>VBu
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily /Ou`$2H87
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答：我們有的！ DTk)Y-eQ
A: 'Yes sir, we do!' M2_sxibI
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問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？ Z!60n{T79c
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' ]d}Z2I'
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答：我們有的！ 2cr~/,YY
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.' y!;rY1
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問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？
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Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' G2U= *|
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答：是的，上鎖！ W) ihk\E
A: 'Yes, sir.' *fso6j#%
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問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？ I.A7H' j
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' |\%[e@u
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答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。 *+re2O)Eh'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' z;@;jQ7
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這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。 E!&A[TlX\
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win. ilEWx r;,
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“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之二 R:P'QM
Number 2: DcE)6z#
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . . QpwOrxI}
Now We Know Why He Was a General ----- |X k'd@<
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在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有會可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。 \ dTX%<5D
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. ?Ko) AP
他以典型的施瓦茨科普方式回答。 N_lQz(nG/2
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. FA<|V!a
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事… -gefdx6ES
而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面” *P_(hG&c
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... N|Xx#/
Our job is to arrange the meeting." jt?4ra NW
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你一定會欣賞他們二位的答辯！ pw"
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You got to love them both!
