兩個年度“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯 F,$$N>
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TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES #z5?Y2t7~^
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背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業，但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。 e/ ~<\
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假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。 r, @|Snv)
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been yq^$H^_O
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as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a
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defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to R1%T>2"~&
undermine the police officer's credibility ..... gM]/Y6 *$b
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問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？ fC:\Gh5
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' -BH'.9uqGQ
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答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。 X7!A(q+h
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the 78A4n C
description of the offender, running several blocks away.' C
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問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？ ApB'O ;5
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' ,
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答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。 < 1K :
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A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' j>=".^J
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問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？ m/c~2?-;
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called iFT3fP'> 5
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' _C\
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答：我相信，我以人格保證。 wY)GX
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' C /#/F#C
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問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？ nr%^:u
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a }=R| iz*,!
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily PU\q.y0R
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答：我們有的！ \3UdC{~
A: 'Yes sir, we do!' 1KEPD@0oxx
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問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？ C'" 6@-~
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' hIHO a
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答：我們有的！ ?AH<y/i<Y
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.' a .Vs >1
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問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？ g4932_t C
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' 35\0g&
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答：是的，上鎖！ Qx#)c%v \\
A: 'Yes, sir.' ?| F;x"
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問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？ )7T T RL
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' je0 ?iovY
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答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。 jF0BWPL
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' XX+ rf
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這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。 ~#xRoBy3
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win. L^Af3]]2
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“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之二 g[Y$SgJ
Number 2: Lg53
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現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . . z(a:fL{/XG
Now We Know Why He Was a General ----- }6(:OB?
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在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有會可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。 A~t7I{`
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. lK SI5d
他以典型的施瓦茨科普方式回答。 &Vm [5X
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His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. pEP.^[
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事… {=Y&q~:8v
而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面” VdrF=V&] O
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... ;<Q_4
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Our job is to arrange the meeting." @J)vuG
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你一定會欣賞他們二位的答辯！ aesFv)5DK
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You got to love them both!
